after a stressful season, my hands ripen &

Cailey Tin, Philippines

regarding my anxiety, Mom has terms uniquely her own

she likes to use to lighten the mood, & one of them,

a begrudgingly personal favorite, is “flares up.” This is when my

hands become “farmer-like”, fingers swollen with crimson

pulps until it spreads all over, juicy as tomatoes & what Mom thinks

of by “farmer” is not merely the roughness, but the planting

itself, specifically when the tomatoes grow rounder & fuller because they can’t

take the heat anymore. & when my palms get beet red & redder

& I can’t pray without feeling a ripe fruit clasped against another ripe fruit,

the flaring reaches a point my flaky outer-skin starts peeling nauseatingly—

that’s when I know it’s harvest season. Soon, all the torment will be over

& I won’t see their personifications until next spring. For now I can enjoy

bearing the fruits of my labor; every single time someone I love has ignored

me cultivates a crop of its own, ready to be washed & eaten.

Cailey Tin is a columnist, poetry editor, and/or podcast host for multiple publications. Also working (or procrastinating) on pieces in piano, journalism, and debate speeches, she earned a Pushcart nomination at 13 and recognition from Ice Lolly Review, Fairfield Scribes, and more. Find her publications on Instagram @itscaileynotkylie.