Unsent Thanks

Ravajra Gimel Lagutan, Philippines

Midsummer along the starting days of rainy season,

around the ninth or tenth day of it on a certain year,

when a goodbye was delivered but never known

to the one being longed.

Simply through gazes that speak

of whispered confessions from nights

of daydreams inspired by these unanswered

and unspoken feelings up to this day,

while these words are typed down.

Words that will remain words

on the screens of whoever’s phone,

on papers, maybe, caressed by strangers’ fingers,

as they read and resonate, I hope, with words

inspired by the familiar youthful days.

It did rain on those days,

the mind remembers while the memories

come back for the hell of it, such an unconscious action.

Yet it did rain on those days,

from muffled pitter-patters covered

by black curtains and the foggy large window,

as well as by those not-so-soundproofed white walls.

Then came the loud rush of showers,

with scissors just within reach, a

knife beside it,

because of how words may never be spoken

but can slice deep, especially coming

from a supposed father whose pride

is higher than the familiar ivory tower.

Yet came the goodbye as well,

that calmed the showers for a while,

but never stopped the storm.

Instead, it just kept going and going and going

until the calm came,

though came the consequences of

the debris destroyed.

Ravajra Gimel B. Lagutan is a self-proclaimed wanderer whose dream and passion is to become a performer, actress, and artist. She graduated from the University of Santo Tomas with a Bachelor of Arts in Literature in 2019, and became a Teaching Assistant in the same year and in 2020. She recently overcame her year-long writing slump caused by the difficulties faced during this pandemic, as well as her personal struggles. Aside from her passion for poetry writing, she finds solace in not only keeping her creative juices flowing but also in her solitude left untouched or desecrated, even by her loved ones.