The Flower Field I Pass By

Panjee Galarpe, Philippines

It is sunset the first time I pass by.

The wildflowers sway as I walk, losing their petals like drops of water, spilling onto the soil they once rose upon. I do not stop to apologise. My eyes are trained to the sky, the sun calling me like a siren. Its song is enough for me to leave you behind. Forward, forward, forward.

A tug.

I look back and there you are.

-

I am alone the next time I pass by.

Beside me are the wildflowers, so beautiful, I do not think they will ever wilt. They stretch towards the sun as if not rooted to the ground, let themselves be dragged by the wind as if they are not so delicate.

It is strange to feel so sheltered when there is only space that surrounds me. In the air, there is springtime, but my lungs cannot breathe.

I raise my head towards the sky, closing my eyes. I drink in the sun and around me, the Earth grows.

-

The wildflowers wither.

The sun sets.

Springtime comes as soon as it goes.

And with it, the Earth follows.

(And with it, I follow.)

-

I pass by before springtime comes.

I do not hear the sun's call, but I walk towards it anyway.

Around me, the wildflowers mourn. They bend down like they are in pain. Inconsolable even when I gather them in my palms
I cry and the skies cry with me.

Petrichor fills the air and when I leave, it sticks to my skin.

-

When I am ready, I pass by again.

I learn from the wildflowers. Breathe in the springtime, stay in place. I reach out towards the sun and then I grow.

Slowly, slowly, I grow.

-

When springtime comes, I do not need to pass by.

The sun finds me at home.

This time, the wildflowers are me; light-bodied, firmly rooted. My hands are leaves that reach towards the sun and catch the rain. Soon, I will wilt, but soon, I will grow again.

For now, I bloom.

Springtime greets me like an old friend and I bloom.

Panjee is a nineteen year old writer living in the Philippines. She writes poetry, short stories, and has recently gotten into creative nonfiction. Her works center around the themes of self-realisation and growth. When she's not writing, she's taking care of her two dogs and playing visual novels.