nebulous reminiscence

Siya Gusain, India

the world is grey tonight.
not splendid silver or rich charcoal,
we are not victim to unfolding stories
of majesty and might, vibrancy and victory,
no, greeting floats in a monotonous grey,
absorbing and hypnotic, she walks her path:
an entitled stranger climbing under
sleeves and collars and spirits-holding your empty tired
hostage, she lives and breathes tainted shades
into each spoken word, moment

clouds overwhelm crypts and furrows,
history blurred beneath veils accompany
my mind, from your averted gazes and
wet eyelashes-heartache and longing aim to inundate,
I would do it if I could: pull you close,
kiss the space between cheek and eye...
lover I do not condone softness, you know this,
but tonight souls are fragile and mine yearns for yours.
tonight, I wish to rest my remains in your palms,
call for the patterns on your fingers
as etchings on the back of my hands

your fingers graze waxen petals and I
am reminded of once upon a time,
clandestine carcasses and celestial ceremonies
pirouette amongst my senses and your thumb
smoothes out creases of nonexistence.
captured in your palms is tenderness of the stars,
I can lie close and let go, release past, present-
sweetheart
I blink, step forward a few, stop.
I know you’re here, with me
the flower descends to your thigh, a raindrop too
rests upon your crown, your fingers clutching
bunches of your sweater, leaning over,
you stay, overlap your arms,
you’re here
I stir and I can move, oh my love,
I am I am I am
my ring heavy hand makes its way to my chest,
the other hovering above you,
your lips part into a deep breath,
you’re here, even when you’re not.
the universe blurs; trembling hands
pay me threats and vows of forever and
nothing
the stone in front of you spots itself black.
you cannot shift and so you stare, with
unblinking eyes and a misted body,
you stare until you cannot anymore,
and then, despite my presence-despite me-
you close your eyes, smile soft melancholy nostalgia
and leave

Siya is a 17-year-old writer from India who loves both writing and reading poetry of all genres. She is often stuck in a state of yearning as a consequence. She likes to construct and visualize stories, trying her best to write them down before they dissipate. Other things she thoroughly enjoys include visual arts and hiking.