two-faced

Amal Kiswani, Jordan

of course i am impatient—
i have waited a lifetime, and still
this language has not grown comfortable on my tongue

i force it into the place
of the one
that has claimed my mouth its home

i am sorry
(so sorry)

the arabic so heavy it weighs me down,
english—so light it simply falls to the ground

i don't remember a time i spoke
without stumbling on my words, and

does it even matter anymore?
if i split myself in half or keep myself whole

instead, i learn to do neither

a new magic trick:
complete and utter silence

find refuge in the lack of language,
drown in the words but never speak them

i’ll never please you,
so at least allow me
to not disappoint you

let us remain
in this in-between

Amal Kiswani is a Palestinian writer and a junior in college. She has enjoyed writing—both poetry and creative nonfiction—for as long as she can remember. Outside of writing, she enjoys reading, video-making, and screaming along to her favorite songs in the car.